How to Raise a Happy and Successful Teen (10 Tips Backed by Science)

How to Raise a Happy and Successful Teen (10 Tips Backed by Science)

As a parent, I’m sure you want your teenagers to be happy and successful. But there’s so much parenting advice out there.

Which advice is reliable?

Based on the thousands of hours I’ve spent analyzing scientific articles and working with teens over the past decade, I’ve created this list of 10 proven, research-backed ways to raise happy and successful teens.

Tip #1:

Tip Number One, become a happier person yourself in her book “Raising Happiness,” Dr. Christine Carter explains how emotional problems in parents are linked to emotional problems in their children.

What’s more, unhappy parents are also less effective parents. Dr. Carolyn Cowan and Dr. Philip Cowan have also found that happy parents are more likely to have happy children. I know, that might sound obvious. But at least we know it’s proven by research.

A study conducted by Ellen Galinsky even shows that the number one wish that children have for their parents is this. They wish their parents were less stressed and tired. As a parent of three children, I frequently feel stressed and tired and I’m sure you do too.

But the research findings are clear. If you want to raise happy and successful teenagers, then you must take care of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Tip #2:

Let’s move on to Tip Number Two help your teens manage their emotions. Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that if your teens can regulate their emotions, their focus will improve and they’ll do better in school and life. here are some ways to help your teens manage their emotions more effectively.

Demonstrate to them that you’re able to manage your own emotions well take the time to empathize with your teens. and understand their perspective explain to them that all feelings are acceptable, but not all behaviors are acceptable. Don’t speak to them in a judgmental way show them that you love and accept them unconditionally, even if their behavior isn’t acceptable.

Tip #3:

Tip Number Three, Focus more on the process and less on the result. Dr. Carol Dweck’s research shows that students who concentrate on effort and attitude, instead of on the desired result, end up achieving much greater success. Parents who overemphasize the importance of achievement are also more likely to raise children who have psychological problems and who are less caring and compassionate.

So instead of focusing on achievement and the result, the better approach is to focus on the process. Be on the lookout for opportunities to acknowledge your teenagers’ good behavior, attitude, and effort. If you do this, over time they’ll naturally achieve better outcomes, without being obsessed about achieving those outcomes.

Tip #4:

Tip Number Four, allow your teenagers to make their own choices, including choosing their punishment. Research conducted by Dr. Marta Benito-Gomez has found that teenagers who are progressively given more independence by their parents are more well-adjusted, have higher levels of social and emotional well-being, and do better academically.

This demonstrates how important it is for parents to gradually allow their teenagers to make their own decisions in areas like planning their schedules, choosing their friends and leisure activities, and managing their schoolwork.

Dr. Rich Gilman has discovered that teenagers who participate in extracurricular activities that they have chosen, not their parents, are 24% more likely to enjoy going to school. The research shows that teens who have more control over their lives are more likely to develop self-discipline and are also more likely to make better decisions in the future.

In addition, if teens are allowed to choose their punishments for breaking family rules, they’ll break the rules less frequently. Now, I’m not saying you should let your teens do whatever they want because they still need boundaries. But over time, you need to give them more control and allow them to take full responsibility for their choices and their lives.

Tip #5:

Tip Number Five, Resolve the conflicts with your spouse or partner. of course, this tip only applies if you’re married or have a partner. A study conducted by Dr. Kelly Musick and Dr. Ann Meier reveals that teenagers whose parents have serious relational conflicts suffer long-term consequences.

These teenagers perform worse academically, are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are more likely to have emotional problems. This probably doesn’t surprise you. Through my work with teenagers over the past decade, I’ve interacted with thousands of parents too.

I’m shocked by the number of families in which the parents have major ongoing relational issues. This impacts teenagers, who become less motivated, less responsible, and less engaged. If you have issues in your relationship that have gone unresolved for months or even years, I encourage you to seek professional help right away.

Tip #6:

Now let’s talk about Tip Number Six, Promote a healthy body image. having a healthy body image is especially important for girls, but it can affect boys as well. The Institute of Child Health conducted a study that shows that one-third of 13-year-old girls are dissatisfied with their weight.

Dr. Janet Decker has also found that 76% of parents regularly make negative comments about their bodies in front of their children. 44% of parents regularly make negative comments about their children’s bodies to their children.

As you might expect, these kinds of negative comments make it far more likely that pre-teens and teens will develop eating disorders. here are some ways to promote a healthy body image in your teens. Exercise together as a family.

Focus on the health benefits of exercise, rather than on how exercise affects your appearance. Have discussions with your teens about how the media and the Internet influence the way we view our bodies. Focus less on your teens’ appearance and more on how they’re developing in terms of their character and skills. Don’t talk about how guilty you feel after eating certain foods. Don’t pass judgment on other people’s appearance.

Tip #7:

Tip Number Seven, have regular meals together as a family many studies published in research journals like JAMA Pediatrics and the Journal of Pediatrics have found these benefits for teenagers of eating together as a family regularly.

Better grades, greater self-confidence, more resilience, lower risk of depression, lower risk of substance abuse, lower risk of developing eating disorders, lower rates of obesity, and many more! So make it a priority to have meals together as a family at least a few times a week if possible.

Tip #8:

Tip Number Eight, Don’t shout at your teens. If your teens are defiant and irresponsible, I know it might be hard for you not to raise your voice. but Dr. Ming-Te Wang’s research has found that shouting at your teens and using harsh verbal discipline make it far more likely that your teens will have behavioral problems.

Your teens will also be more likely to suffer from depression. Teenagers who live in a hostile home environment are likely to feel insecure and anxious, which will further affect their long-term development.

If you frequently lose your temper when talking to your teens, learn to recognize your triggers. Remove yourself from the conversation if necessary, before it turns into an argument. and pick your battles with your teens, so you don’t get angry over everything they do wrong.

Tip #9:

Tip Number Nine, Teach your teens to forgive. Dr. Martin Seligman, who is widely regarded as the father of positive psychology, has identified that forgiveness is a key element that leads to happiness.

Forgiveness can even lead to depression and anxiety in teenagers. teenagers who learn to forgive can turn negative feelings about the past into positive feelings. This increases their levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

When it comes to forgiveness, be a role model for your teens. Don’t hold grudges against people who have wronged you, and take the initiative to resolve personal conflicts. If you’ve made a mistake that has hurt your teens, apologize to them

and ask for their forgiveness. The more you do these things, the more your teens will learn to forgive others and forgive themselves too.

Tip #10:

Tip Number 10, Share your family history with your tensed. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush have done research that shows that children and teens who know more about their family history have higher levels of self-esteem and fewer behavioral problems.

Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush created a list of 20 questions that children and teens should be able to answer about their family history. Here are some of those questions.

Do you know where your parents met?

Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences?

Do you know some things that happened?

to your parents when they were in school?

Do you know some awards? that your parents received

when they were young?

Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries?

that your parents experienced

when they were younger?

The more of these questions

that children and teens can answer “yes” to, the greater the likelihood.

That they’ll be resilient and be able to handle stressful situations. This is because they’ll develop a sense of being part of a larger family, something bigger than themselves.

So be intentional about sharing your family history with your teens, and you’ll put them on the path to happiness and success.

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